What Happens When You Walk Away?

What if one of the greatest signs of your leadership is that things can thrive without you?

I was thinking about this recently while standing on a beach with my daughters, looking at an incredible sea turtle someone had sculpted of sand.

I reflected on the journey to get to the finished product that we were looking at. Because before there was a turtle, there was just sand. Someone had to see something that wasn't there yet.

That's where leadership often begins.

With the ability to see what could be before anyone else can.

A stronger team. A different culture. A new business. A better way of working. A change that hasn't taken shape yet.

And then comes the much harder part: Building it.

I imagine there were moments when that pile of sand didn't look remotely like a turtle. Maybe the proportions weren't quite right. Or, part of it collapsed and had to be rebuilt. Maybe the weather interfered.

Then likely the person who started it eventually needed other hands to help bring the vision to life.

Somewhere along the way, they likely experimented. Added grass and seaweed. They adapted what they were doing based on what was in front of them rather than rigidly following the picture they may have originally had in their head.

Leadership is a lot like that.

We tend to celebrate the finished product. The successful transformation. The high-performing team. The promotion.
The thriving organization. The results. But there is so much leadership that happens in the muck (or in the sand in this case:)!)

The uncertainty.The ideas that didn't work.The conversations that changed the direction. The setbacks that required rebuilding. And the moments when the leader wondered whether what they could see so clearly in their mind would ever actually become reality.

And perhaps that's one of the hardest parts of leadership:

Continuing to believe in what you're building during the stage when it doesn't look like much yet.

But there was something else about this turtle that struck me. Eventually, whoever created it had to walk away.

They couldn't protect it forever. They couldn't control the weather. They couldn't stop someone from accidentally stepping on part of it. At some point, they had to decide: I've done my part. And leave it there. There is a lesson in that for leaders, too.

We can become so attached to what we're building—and so responsible for its success—that we start believing we have to hold everything together ourselves. We oversee every detail. Solve every problem. Carry the vision, the execution, the people, and the outcome.

But perhaps our job isn't to hold everything together forever. Perhaps it's to create the conditions for something meaningful to take shape.

To provide the vision. Bring people into it. To give them room to add something we wouldn't have thought of ourselves. To adapt when conditions change. And then rebuild when something falls apart. Only to eventually loosen our grip.

Because nothing we build stays exactly as we created it.

Teams change. Organizations evolve. People grow. Priorities shift. Someone else eventually takes what we've built and makes it their own.

That doesn't diminish our leadership. It may actually be evidence of it.

The sea turtle will eventually disappear. Wind will reshape it. Rain will soften it. Waves may eventually reclaim the sand. But that doesn't mean creating it wasn't worthwhile. There was meaning in the vision. Meaning in the building. In the people who stopped to admire it. And in the experience of creating it. I think leadership is the same.

Our legacy isn't simply the thing we leave standing when we're finished. It's also the people who grew while we were building it. The ideas we made possible. The courage we created in others. The conversations we started. The people who discovered what they were capable of because we trusted them enough to put their hands in the sand alongside ours. And who we became in the process.

So if you're in the messy middle right now—if what you're building doesn't quite look like the picture you had in your head—don't assume you're doing it wrong.

Keep shaping. Invite other hands in. Experiment. Adapt. Rebuild what needs rebuilding. And remember that you don't have to exhaust yourself trying to control every grain of sand.

Great leadership isn't about holding everything together forever. It's about helping create something meaningful—and developing people who can continue shaping it after you loosen your grip.

That's how we lead with impact.

When Was the Last Time You Had Space to Think About Your Own Leadership?

As leaders, we're often so focused on supporting others, solving problems, and keeping everything moving forward that we rarely give ourselves the same space to step back and think.

But sometimes, one focused conversation can shift how we see a challenge, a decision, or even ourselves as leaders.

That's why I offer my Leadership Coaching Intensive — a private, 50-minute, one-on-one coaching session designed to give you the space to step back, gain perspective, and move forward with greater clarity and intention.

Whether you're navigating a difficult decision, preparing for an important conversation, feeling the weight of competing demands, or simply need an experienced, objective thinking partner, this is time dedicated entirely to you and what matters most right now.

No long-term commitment. No prescribed agenda. Just focused, confidential coaching with me, an ICF Master Certified Coach, to help you work through what's on your mind and identify your next steps.

Because even the leaders everyone else turns to need someone in their corner. Leadership Coaching Intensives are now available to book directly online. Book Your 50-minute Leadership Coaching Intensive Session